Sleep and fertility: why better rest begins long before bedtime

For a long time, I saw sleep as something to minimise. There was always something more interesting or productive I could be doing, and sleeping felt almost like wasted time.

The irony was that I wasn't particularly good at sleeping either. I struggled to fall asleep without a podcast playing in the background. During the day, I often felt tired and compensated with coffee, sugary snacks or whatever could give me another little boost of energy. It had become such a normal part of my routine that I rarely questioned it.

When Ingrid and I began our preconception journey, I started exploring sleep from a completely different perspective. I discovered just how much happens in our bodies while we're resting, and how closely sleep is connected to our hormones, metabolism, nervous system and overall health.

Sleep wasn't time lost. It was time my body needed. And improving it wasn't simply about going to bed earlier. It meant learning to work with my body's natural rhythms rather than constantly pushing against them.

1. Sleep is an active process, not simply switching off

While we sleep, our bodies are remarkably busy. Throughout the night, we move through different sleep stages, each supporting important functions. Deep sleep is involved in physical recovery and the regulation of certain hormones. REM sleep plays a role in memory, learning and emotional processing.

Sleep also influences how our bodies regulate blood sugar, appetite, stress responses and immune function. And reproductive health is part of this interconnected picture.

Our reproductive hormones are closely connected to the body's internal biological clock, and growing research highlights the relationship between sleep quality, hormonal balance and reproductive health. Understanding these connections gives us another reason to make sleep a priority during preconception.

2. Learn to work with your internal clock

One of the most fascinating things I discovered is that sleep begins long before we get into bed. Our bodies follow a roughly 24-hour rhythm known as the circadian rhythm. This internal clock helps regulate alertness, body temperature, hormone release and the timing of sleep.

And one of its most powerful signals is surprisingly simple: daylight. Exposure to natural light in the morning helps synchronise our internal clock with the outside world. As evening approaches and light fades, our bodies receive signals that it's time to prepare for rest.

Something to try: Step outside for some natural daylight soon after waking, even if it's just for a short walk or your morning cup of tea. Try keeping your waking time relatively consistent, and notice how your energy changes throughout the day. These simple habits help your body recognise the difference between daytime activity and nighttime rest.

3. Break the cycle of tiredness and stimulation

Looking back, I can see how I had fallen into a rather unhelpful cycle. I slept poorly, felt tired during the day and reached for coffee or something sweet to keep going. Then, when evening arrived, I struggled to wind down.

Understanding how caffeine works was particularly eye-opening. Throughout the day, a substance called adenosine builds up in our brain, contributing to the growing pressure to sleep. Caffeine temporarily blocks its effects, making us feel more alert. But it doesn't remove the underlying need for rest. And because caffeine can remain active for several hours, that afternoon coffee may still be influencing how easily we fall asleep at night.

Something to try: Become curious about when and why you reach for caffeine or sugary snacks. Are you genuinely hungry? Enjoying a ritual? Or trying to push through tiredness? Experiment with moving your last coffee earlier in the day, eating satisfying meals and allowing yourself short breaks when your energy dips. The goal isn't to eliminate every stimulant, but to stop relying on them to compensate for inadequate rest.

4. Create an evening that invites sleep

I used to think that falling asleep meant simply getting into bed and waiting. But after a stimulating day of work, screens, conversations and endless thoughts, my mind wasn't always ready to switch off. That's partly why podcasts had become such a familiar bedtime companion.

What helped me rethink my evenings was the idea that sleep needs a transition. Our bodies respond to repeated cues. Softer lighting, quieter activities and a consistent rhythm can help signal that the active part of the day is coming to an end.

Something to try: Create a simple evening ritual that you genuinely enjoy. Perhaps dim the lights, put work away, read a book, take a warm shower or share a quiet conversation with your partner. You don't need an elaborate wellness routine. Just a little space between the busyness of the day and rest.

5. Give yourself permission to rest

Perhaps the biggest shift for me wasn't changing a particular habit. It was changing my relationship with sleep. I stopped seeing it as something competing with the rest of my life and began recognising it as one of the foundations that allowed me to enjoy that life more fully.

There will always be restless nights and periods when life makes sleep more difficult. What matters is learning to respect our need for rest, without striving for perfection.

Rest is part of preparing for a new chapter

Our preconception journey encouraged us to question habits we'd simply accepted as normal. For me, sleep was one of them. It taught me that caring for my health wasn't about doing more, but sometimes about allowing myself to do less. Because preparing for a new life shouldn't mean exhausting the one you're already living.

This is one of the many perspectives we explore in the Storka Preconception Wellness Programme, alongside nutrition, stress, movement and the biology of preparing for pregnancy.